I’m just going to come out with it. Over the past 10 months, I’ve gained some weight. And while I am pretty content with my body now, it took awhile for me to accept that my body had changed from before. I no longer fit into size 4 dresses. Certain size 6 bottoms can’t go pass my hips these days. It was disheartening. And I can now admit that I put a lot of pride in being a certain size. It was like a badge of honor to be able to wear a size small. I would always get remarks from my family that I was “too small” and that I needed to eat. I disagreed wholeheartedly, repeatedly saying, “this is just the size I am”. And it was true. At that time, that’s just the size I was. I wasn’t depriving myself of food neither did I have a consistent workout routine. So in my mind, I was meant to be that size.But the beauty of the human body is that it goes through a multitude of changes as we grow older. I’ve realized a lot of those changes can literally happen overnight. One day you’re able to drink milk, the next, your stomach churns after one sip (although I would encourage to use almond or coconut milk as a replacement). One day you can eat a meal and not feel anything, the next, you eat the same meal and leave the table feeling bloated. It’s the circle of life. For me, my metabolism used to work way faster than it does now. Which for me means that I have to slow down when it comes to eating certain foods. Sidenote: I’m not one to necessarily restrict myself from food because, I LOVE FOOD. I eat for sustenance AND pleasure.
With this newfound knowledge of my body, and my refusal to live constantly restrained, I knew that there were a couple of things that would need to happen (and maybe these could help you too):Your body is a temple. It houses your soul. And your soul is what guides you, it’s what drives you. So why wouldn’t you want to make sure that the thing housing your entire being is well kept at all times. Imagine your soul as the contents of your house/apartment/condo. Now, that house/apartment/condo is your body. If the apartment itself is neglected and disregarded, eventually so will be the case for the contents inside of it. But every house is different. No matter how much some may look the same, there’s always some small difference that sets them apart. So stop trying to make your house look like your neighbors. Y’all get this analogy right?
All i’m trying to say is. If you’re beating yourself up when it comes to your body, try your best to nip that in the bud. And the reason I say try your best is that I understand how it’s not easy to always be in positive spirits about yourself. I still struggle with this till today. Every time I look at my body in the mirror, I have to tell myself that the way I look is OK. I’m healthy, I’m living, and my body is proof of that.
All Photography by Kristen Ashley
Until next time…
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