Embracing Your Features

2 posts back, I touched on the importance of having women like Viola Davis and Lupita N’yongo very present in the media. I wanted to expand on that topic because I think it’s something that needs to be addressed more than once. As a black woman, it is overwhelming and frustrating to see a lack of representation in mass media (and I don’t mean having the token black girl in a show or ad).

Seeing these features that is deemed “too much” on us all of a sudden being glorified on someone else is frustrating. Features like big lips have become “popular” in the past couple of years. And while anyone is free to do whatever they want to, I think it’s fair to acknowledge that this popularity sprung up when the lips were not on a woman whose ancestors share those features: the black woman. When something we were once teased and ridiculed about now becomes a “mainstream” and “in trend”, it’s difficult to not feel slighted. And even worse, we STILL get taunted for having these same features!

Example: I wasn’t a fan of my lips when I was younger. They were full and not symmetrical. It annoyed me that the left side of my bottom lip was just a smidge larger than the other. I strayed away from smiling towards the camera because I felt the difference was magnified through a lens. While I wasn’t necessarily teased for it, it still made me self-conscious of it. I strategically would wear only nude colors because I thought they didn’t amplify the size of my lips (don’t get me wrong, I still love a nude lip, but not for concealing purposes).

From a young age, we are programmed to believe that the features we are born with are too much for others to handle. On someone else, totally fine. On the black woman, no way. We have believed that just being black was too much, so to add anything extra would just make us stand out more. And this sort of thinking has taken years of reversing. We are now coming into our own. Believing that our beauty has no standard or definition. That our beauty does not have to cater to the masses. To all my black and brown girls out there, your features are worthy of praise. From yourself. Don’t get stuck on trying to get it from others.(this post is not meant to be divisive. As a black woman, I speak on things that directly affect me. Even if you cannot relate, please take the time to understand my position)

Until next time…

All Photography by Kristen Ashley


  1. Diaryofastylishdoctor | 1st Apr 17

    Nice one!

  2. Yara Mel | 22nd Mar 17

    Lovely face and features in every picture! I love your photo edits :)


  3. Dami O | 19th Mar 17

    You’re truly inspirational, Seyi. i think every black girl needs something like this, after 20 years i can say self love is beautiful!

    i coincidentally have a post like this, sitting in my draft. i should put it up.
    Lots of love, girl!


    • infashionitrust | 19th Mar 17

      Thanks so much Dami!! And yes please publish your post! I think it’s so necessary now more than ever to speak up on these things :)

  4. Demilade Aina | 18th Mar 17

    Yes, yes yes! I agree with everything you said wholeheartedly. I’m very glad that the narrative is changing, more and more black girls are beginning to accept and embrace their features. I used to hate my lips as well, I thought they were too big. Now I love them. Great post Seyi! xx

    Coco Bella Blog

  5. Alexandria | 17th Mar 17

    I particularly like your quote to black girls out there, Our features are indeed worthy of praise!
    This lip colour looks good on you dear. Whenever you can, stop by at my blog,i’d love to have you over :)

  6. Dee | 16th Mar 17

    Love this post! Even within my own family, I got comments that made me feel self conscious about my obviously black features like my hair and thick lips. Now, I love both. I do feel like the first step in looking amazing is feeling amazing.

    Loved the pictures! Your photographer did an amazing job. You look Fabulous babe. Don’t let anyone tell you any different

    • infashionitrust | 16th Mar 17

      Thanks so much boo! and I’m so sorry to hear about that with your fam. I realized that they sometimes don’t think that their comments will leave an impression but it does. And i’m sure they don’t do it out of malice but those words reply over and over. Anyway, appreciate the love girlie! :)

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